If I were a rock star, I would be very, very afraid now

Morbid thoughts on becoming (Forever) 27

 

If I were a rock star, and not just any rock star but a superstitious rock star, I would be a shivering, nervous piece of wreck by now. My thoughts would be plagued by the inevitable tragedy (becoming part of the special group called Forever 27 Club) that's going to befall me any day from two days to 365 days from now --my 27th year in this world, an age when most rock stars who are true to their music choose to die, with tragic as their preferred approach to dying.



If I were a rock star, and superstitious, like I mentioned, and Filipino at that, it is possible that by this time, I already would have had in my possession a full arsenal of garlic hanging around my windows and my four-poster bed, maybe some Chinese post-it notes that dispel evil spirits, and cocaine to help me see and fight off said evil spirits if they finally come to attack, and most probably an army of half-sane TV evangelists, religious gurus, and your neighborhood conman out to make a fortune of my panic and desperation.

I might do those things, but perhaps not. Perhaps, since I would then be a true rock star, manic-depressive and has a flair for drama at that, I might even anticipate and welcome death --maybe even come to it and embrace it at my own free will (or with the help of heroin). 

If I were a rock star, my death, whether by my own hand, deliberately or otherwise, would be celebrated by the whole world, and then I would be welcomed to the elite group of rock stars who died young --what the world now dubs as the 27 Club or the Forever 27 Club.

 Jimi Hendrix allegedly died of asphyxiation -- he choked on his own vomit after mixing his wine with sleeping pills on September 18, 1970.

These includes Janis Joplin, Jimi Hendrix, Jim Morrison, Mia Zapata, Kurt Cobain, and just last year, Amy Winehouse. These people either died in a horrific accident, overdozed on booze and/or drugs or deliberately offed themselves.

 Nirvana's frontman Kurt Cobain made himself a cocktail of heroin and valium, then shot himself on April 5, 1994.

For a comprehensive list, wiki here or for some short bios on the artists, click here.

British singer-songwriter, Grammy Award hall-of-famer, Amy Winehouse was found dead in her London home on July 23, 2011, allegedly from alcohol poisoning.

But thank God I am NOT a rock star. Even without the perks that comes with being one --fame, money, and all the drinks and drugs and sex you can get, I am already vulnerable enough to be depressed and to think of morbid thoughts at one point or another. So, no, I wouldn't really want to exchange my life of monthly bouts of mild depression (PMS-brought) and some ADHD moments (look, a squirrel!) to that of a rock star. No, thank you.

According to a great article Why do All Rock Stars die at 27? by a certain London psychologist named Tomas Chamorro-Premuzic, Ph.D., that I have read in the website of Psychology Today, the realization that one is about to become a full-fledged adult may have been too much to take for these young members of the Forever 27 Club. Here is the doctor's take on why rock stars tend to die young.

"Personality theory tells us that our personality does not change very much after the age of 30; but that there are some general developmental changes in most people's personality, even after that age. As we grow older, we become more emotionally stable, more conscientious, more agreeable, and less open to new experiences. So, it seems, then, that getting old is a major threat to our creative enterprises, especially if you are a rock star. Most people become more conforming, more adjusted, more boring, less creative. The battle that the Hendrixs, Winehouses, or Morrisons of this world may have faught - through their personality and art - was, on one hand, a battle against society (they were rebellious souls who wanted to inject some freedom and change into a world they disliked, despite being incredibly successful in the eyes of others and by most objective criteria for success); on the other hand they may have been battling against their own self-transformation. In fact, in becoming successful, they may have become a victim of the very system they were attempting to change. The realisation that they were being "consumed" by others -- a bit as if the Che Guevara had lived sufficiently long to see all those middle-class and rich kids wearing his t-shirts (D&G of course) -- may have been too much to take."

Apparently, I really don't need to be a rock star to fall victim to this fear of being forgotten, being boring, being less creative. Trust me on this, but I am already feeling all of that right now! But thank goodness still, that I am NOT a rock star. Because if I were, this insane fear might really just push me on the edge even more.

So I'm gonna go ahead and enjoy my birthday without any worries becoming Forever 27 because thank goodness, I'm just a pretend rock star. Ha!

Oh, yeah!